My Children are Perfect...Except When They're Not

If I ask you what you think of my kids, the correct answer is that they are perfect. They are beautiful and wonderful and smart and any other complimentary things you want to say about them.

However, if you ask me to describe my children, I might use less flattering terms.

For example, Tommy looked like a beet red, grumpy old man when he was born. I compared him to a squishy, angry lawn gnome.

Tommy's Lawn Gnome Face

Lucy has very expressive eyebrows. So does Achmed the Dead Terrorist. I may have drawn a comparison between my daughter and a skeleton puppet.

If you don't know who Achmed is, here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/user/jeffdunham?blend=2&ob=4#p/u/0/XhVpoRaTdj0


I've also called Tommy "Squishy" and Lucy "Lucifer" and I'll call either one of them "Stinky" or "Stinks" if justified. But of course, it's all said with love.